Pieces

And then it all fragments
Laying dormant in a million pieces
Like pieces of eggshell in your quivering hands
You reached into the river to stop the current from washing it away
You held it so tight it broke
And now it pierces your hands like glass
The pieces stand proudly like the quills on a porcupine’s back
You pick out the jagged splinters
You bleed
You cry
And finally you sit
The current of the river will wash away the blood and the pieces
Your hands will heal
And there will be another
And it will shimmer in the dullness of your eyes as if it is rekindling hope itself
The spark catches
The fire burns
And so do you
It tortures you
But you say it is worth it
And that makes it better

The ache

Sometimes you get tired of trying to save yourself
You get tired of falling into the same traps
Making the same mistakes
Shifting hemispheres but walking in the same steps
The same pattern
The same feelings
Just in different situations
You imagined it differently
But you tire of trying to make it so
You wish you didn’t have such a heavy soul
An ever ruminating mind
But you do
And somehow you know you always will
You find the every day mundane difficult
You drag your feet through the molasses that is your life
Every step a burden
Some nights you do not see what is wrong
Other nights it sits on your chest heavy, threatening to burst your heart
Instead the pressure builds up to your throat
A sob
You wonder if it will ever be better
You wonder if there’s something wrong with you
You think that no one deserves to soak in your misery as you do
You feel the weighty silences
The judgement
For your words form like metal in the air and drop dead on the ground
You try to speak in butterflies
But they only choke you
Their wings flutter desperately trying to escape
But only some do
They are crippled
We watch them zigzag through the biting cold
I am ashamed
You pull me close
I see the vapour of your breath whisper
I think they are beautiful